My job gives me the opportunity to travel frequently, and I’ve discovered that travel is the perfect chance to practice many of the mental skills I teach every day.
Today has been no exception.
At the moment, I’m 30,000 feet in the air on the first leg of my journey to Berkeley, CA. I’m headed there to teach a mental skills class to firefighters, so applying strategies for focus, resilience, and emotional regulation has been on my mind.
The flight is on time, and I even have an empty seat next to me—a rare travel luxury—so things are going well.
But it didn’t start out that way.
The alarm went off at 4:15 a.m., about an hour earlier than usual. Sluggish but motivated, I’d prepared the night before and woke to the glorious smell of freshly brewed coffee. I stretched, caught up on the New York Times app, and tackled some work. My Uber was scheduled for 5:45 a.m. my suitcase was packed, so I had about an hour to spare.
However, as is often the case, I got immersed in work and lost track of time. When I realized I was cutting it close, I rushed out the door at 5:47 a.m., lugging my suitcase down the stairs and out to the driveway.
That’s when the day’s first lesson began.
The Uber driver was parked 30 yards away at the end of the driveway—not near the house. My initial reaction was frustration. Why is he parked so far away? Doesn’t he know I have luggage? But I took a breath and approached the car.
I walked behind the vehicle, making sure the driver could see me in his mirrors. As I neared, the window rolled down.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Brian,” I replied.
“Where are you going?”
I paused, confused. This information is already in the app.
“The airport,” I said.
“What airline?” he asked.
At this point, my frustration grew. But as the trunk finally opened and I loaded my suitcase, I realized this was an opportunity to practice the very skills I teach.
Awareness: Recognizing the Moment
As I sat in the backseat, I noticed tightness in my chest, tension in my muscles, and rapid thoughts looping through my mind. This was Awareness—acknowledging my physical, emotional, and mental state without judgment. I recognized that I was frustrated and stewing over something I couldn’t change.
Acceptance: Letting Go of What’s Outside Your Control
Once I became aware of my state, I took a mental step back. I accepted that the situation had already occurred and that I couldn’t change the driver’s behavior. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means acknowledging reality as it is. Only then can we shift to what we can control.
Action: Shifting Perspective
I took a deep breath, relaxed my shoulders, and focused on the present moment. I was in a warm car, heading to an exciting opportunity to teach. Then I reframed my perception of the driver. Maybe he parked far away and asked extra questions because he felt nervous or cautious about picking up a stranger in the dark.
This shift brought compassion. Living in constant fear must be exhausting. With that realization, my frustration dissolved, replaced by calmness and clarity.
Whenever we face challenging situations, great or small, navigating them becomes easier with these three steps:
- Awareness: Recognize what’s happening internally and externally.
- Acceptance: Acknowledge reality without judgment or distortion.
- Action: Focus on what you can control and take steps to shift your mindset, emotions, or actions.
In this instance, I controlled my breathing, reframed my thoughts, and calmed my emotional state. This adjustment allowed me to enjoy the ride and focus on the positive aspects of my day ahead.
The Next Challenge
So, once again…through the interaction with the Uber driver…travel had given me the chance to get better, to improve myself through the practice and development of critical life skills. Little did I know, however, how soon the next opportunity for growth would present itself (spoiler alert…about five minutes).
When we were nearing the airport, I realized I’d left my backpack sitting on the floor next to the front door…my backpack with my books, charging cables, glasses, and computer with the slides for the upcoming class.
Stay tuned for the next installment of Life Lessons On the Go.
I love traveling!